Wow...it's been a year.

And I'm still confused. All I could think about while throwing my guts up yesterday was you. I wish I could throw up your memory...but most of all I wish it had been violent. Maybe then I wouldn't blame myself and I could blame you instead. Yeah that would be nice. Blame you...I do sometimes...I wonder why you thought my silence meant "yes", when I had said "no" so many times that night? I wish I could get your voice out of my head...you're so tight...and the memory of your skinny little dick. I blame myself for not screaming what I was thinking in my head, but most of all I wish I had left when you forced me down the first time. Whatever. Fuck you.